Three thousand two hundred three

Time’s fun when you’re having flies!  So … lets see … G got his 17 year chip and actually stood up to get it at the meeting which he hasn’t done for a few years because he didn’t but now he did which is awesome because S didn’t know he didn’t get chips so she got him a coffee cup to give him because he’s a fucking inspiration to so many peeps including S, so that was good.  I’m chairing the Sunday night meeting which G goes along with because we car pool and I gotta get there early to open the doors and he’s always like “but if we hang out a little longer before we go then we won’t have to read anything” so I don’t ask him to read anything.  Oh and S hasn’t been seen in a while so we’re all like worried for her cuz she’s still unsure of her own footing on her path and her dearly beloved loves his drink, which is a drag but she’s where she needs to be so its all right I guess.  I’m still employed!  Lordy lordy I’ve no idea how that keeps happening but it does so I’m thankful and try to do it well even though I don’t like it at all.  And B didn’t get the job he was hoping for which is too bad but he’s got a good attitude and as of last week he had another interview already lined up so that’s good.  Its summertime in a major sort of way … we had about 2 weeks of temps over 116 … but now its monsoon season but my little town has some sort of magic anti-rain bubble over it which dang nabbit I surely do miss the insane rains but what can we do eh?  Its weather so all we can do is say “oh my there’s weather” and smile and move on with our day 🙂

Oh and I finished a little project I’ve been working on!  Well, finished enough to put it up online anyway: https://homegrouphosting.com – a website maker and hosting for AA home groups for a buck a month.  I’m pretty happy with it. One day somewhere someone is going to walk into a meeting because they found the group’s website and then yay me I did something good for an anonymous stranger 🙂

Oh well.  Best go get the trash ready for pickin’ up, which means roll the bin out to the street after puttin’ bunches of stuff in it.  Always bunches of stuff for the trash bin.

Have FUN !!!

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Three thousand one hundred ten

Well well will you look at that!  This thing is still here, though seemingly abandoned for quite some time eh?  Still sober, still trudging the road of happy destiny, still taking it one day at a time.  About to go to work but figured I’d say “hi wordpress website” so there you go 🙂

I’m able to get to only one meeting a week for the past 2.x years, but I reckon that ain’t the worst fate in the world eh?  I’ve been employed 2nd shift is why I can’t get to meetings, and it is a job I never expected to get and have no prior qualifications for.  So God as I barely understand him/her/it opened a door and I stepped through.  The reason this job became mine?  I dunno!

All I know is today I’ve got a roof over my head, a dog who seemingly loves me, a life worth living, and absolutely no desire to drink.  Today, for me, these are good things!

Two thousand three hundred sixty six

Is it still a meeting if no one shows up?

Maybe picking Easter as the first meeting day for a new group was perhaps not the best plan ever, but “first and third Sundays” is kinda where I was at.  Anyway the only people in attendance were me and my room mate … who happens to be in AA.  So we got laminated stuff to read, chairs to sit in, a coffee pot – even got chips which is weird but since I got ’em I figured heck we can give ’em out as need be.  Put up little adverts at my local meeting group … and people said yeah great idea … but in the end no one else came.

So was it a meeting or what?  I think it was 🙂

Tonight I’ll be chairing a big book meeting, which I’ve been chairing this year.  Our commitments are supposed to be for a quarter, but the way it seems to work is the same person just keeps chairing until next year.  My gut tells me I should step aside even if no one is actively stepping up, as that is the way it is supposed to be.  My brain tells me don’t drop a commitment until someone else picks it up.

I dunno.  All I know is today I’ve no desire to drink.  Instead I’ve a strong desire to fix my leaky irrigation and plant a new tree in the back yard.

Two thousand two hundred ninety eight

Its the ants that eats your picnic, not the bear

So sayeth a friend of mine … and he’s right. I reckon a bear could eat your picnic but generally speaking the big-ticket issues in life don’t really drive me to a bar anymore.  Its the cumulative weight of a thousand little worries (fears) that get my head roaming down dark alleys deep in the corners of my alcoholic mind.

Not sure I like this theme … just previewed it … dunno maybe its okay.  And maybe its just an ant eh?  Days sober as the post title: creative?  We think not! There’s an app for that and it stopped helping me find meetings when I was a truck driver but it does count days so its cool.

Maybe worrying about how I’m going to get through till next payday is an ant? Maybe not being sure if I will be able to keep this job is an ant? Maybe worrying about my friend’s cat not coming back home is an ant? Maybe if I had more faith and less fear these ants wouldn’t feel like bears making me want to run away screaming … and thus ruining my personal picnic?

In my sobriety I recall falling asleep in a bus station thinking “this is a nice corner to sleep in” but now I fall asleep worrying about little things like getting new sheets and maybe a spare pillow.  Relativity is a weird thing I reckon.  Perspective too.  I think I just figured something out too … I can easily make a list of things I’m grateful for, but for some reason in my mind I always qualify them with a “but … the unknown future”.

Hey God?  Hook me up with a wee bit of that serenity stuff okay?  I’m not forgetful of all you’ve done for and revealed to me, but somehow I’ve lost sight of knowing the future is gonna be okay.  Maybe how about a hint of what your will for my life is?  Maybe that’d help ease my troubled mind … or is that all on me?  Either way, thanks for another day alive and sober … it’s gonna be a GREAT day 🙂